Thread:Thenicehyena/@comment-34687985-20200202200453/@comment-34687985-20200204014046

When you add a sentence, don't put 3 short sentences of just 5 words as a paragraph. Instead of that, combine them. Example:

Tsah and Sasem are good friends. They learn from Pinguino that Beshte is a bad guy. Soon, they learn he isn't.

Instead, do something like this. Just note one simple sentence can be included:

Tash and Sasem are good friends, and live in the same pond. After Beshte destroys their pond, they are infuriated, and even learn he is Poa the Destroyer from Pinguino. However, after the penguin arrives at a meeting, claiming Poa saved him. He additionally mentions he is now Poa the Life Saver. Tsah and Sasem, like the other animals, become Beshte's friend after this event.

Make sure you make your sections nice and detailed, a relationships section is meant to have a lot more in-depth coverage of relationships.

Commas:

I prioritize using the oxford comma in your sentences so they're organized and cleaner. Ex.

Kion and his friends return to the Pride Lands. However Vitani and her "Guard" attack. Kovu and Kiara break it up.

Instead, do this. Make the sentence as long as possible, usually two to four commas are preferred for a sentence.

Kion and his friends return to the Pride Lands, however, they are attacked by Vitani's "Guard". Soon, Kovu and Kiara arrive, and break it up.

Does this help?